Promises Matter

When you take a vow it should matter.

When you decide to have a child with someone, it should matter.

You don't understand the heart break of not having your child on a holiday until you have to live it.  Just take a moment and think of your young elementary aged child, and how excited he or she is to pick out their Halloween costume.  And think about those school and church carnivals you took your child to, and those nights of walking around getting Halloween candy.  How they were too shy to ask for a piece.  Or, they were bold and grabbed a handful.  What if that was taken from you?  And instead you have to watch from the sidelines. Or worse, waking up Christmas morning and your child is at their dad's house instead of home with you.  It hits you in the gut and not just that day, but the months leading up to and after the event. 

You didn't plan this.  You never expected your marriage and family to be taken from you.  You never wanted to only part of the time raise your own child.  You wanted it all.  All the holidays, all the memories, all the good times, and a faithful spouse.  

When you say your vows and decide that this is the person, that you are going to put first above others, then you should.  When you decide to marry someone and raise a family with someone, you should.  

Cheaters and liars and manipulators should not get to take these days and moments away.  You should not lose the special moments after already enduring being lied to over and over and over again by someone who was supposed to love and cherish you.  

We make it too easy.  It is much too easy to abandon your family.  It is much to easy to cheat on your spouse.  Why value your family if you don't have to? If society makes it too easy to have your cake and eat it too?  What happened to being loyal, looking out for your family, and having morals? 

Instead,  I am seeing it happen time and time.  Unfaithful husbands that take the memories and moments away from their own child and the person they pledged to love forever.  We can't be okay with this. I am not okay with this. 

Just know that you are not alone.  It is okay to not be okay with this.  It is okay to feel incredibly hurt and sad. Your friends and family might not understand, but you are not alone. 

July 30, 2021 — Brandi McDonald

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